david cook ruined my life

see, here’s the thing. we have to take our clothes off! we have to party all night![/gymclassheroes] i’m not really what you would call into kids. i don’t fawn over babies. those maternal urges that some chicks get? don’t happen for me. i’m more likely to get all starry-eyed over a puppy or a kitten or…i don’t know, a baby turtle. really any kind of baby animal that isn’t human. (sorry, mom.)

and yet. AND FUCKING YET. this video? my ovaries are smoking in a pile on the floor from overuse. shut the fuck UP, david cook! clearly you’re not content to merely ruin my life, you ALSO want to ruin my female parts. so hang on to your tits, ladies. this dude is trouble.