david cook ruined my life

so my reaction here is twofold. first is the obvious: “damn, boyfriend is looking superfine!” which, y’know, whatever. that’s just kind of how i roll.

the second part of my reaction, however, is where the crazy starts to kick in. it goes something like this:

“oh, he’s stretching. he’s standing on one foot. he looks very stable like that. he must have really good balance. which makes sense, because he was a jock in high school. he probably has a good center of gravity. *sigh* huh, i wonder if that’s one of those things that makes a woman subconsciously identify a man as a good potential mate, like symmetrical features or a strong jawline. i bet it is. i mean, balance…stability…those are ideal qualities in a mate, right? *siiiiiigh*”

do you see how my life has been ruined? i don’t think i could make it any more clear.