david cook ruined my life

the only thing that ruins my life more than david cook is a lack of david cook. go figure, right?

dear dave:

darling, i hope you’re lounging around the house naked and watching tv naked and eating ice cream while naked and picking out furniture also naked so you’d probably better be shopping online or you might cause a stir and doing whatever else you’d like to do in your downtime. i hope you get to do some serious drinking if you feel like it (please post pictures) and get laid (ditto) and watch some baseball and that the royals win and that you get to hang out with your stupid adorable little dog and your family and that you get to feel all refreshed and recharged and rewhatever else you need to be. you totally earned this vacation, dude, so i hope you’re enjoying it.

i, however, am not enjoying it. please hurry back so you can continue to ruin my life with your existence and not your absence.

xo,
tracy