david cook ruined my life

so.

david cook.

let’s talk tour dates.

so okay. i live in albany, new york. i am moving in like three weeks to new york city. everything is insane and i decided there was just no way i could go to any shows in june. okay, fine. and i’m spending most of august in europe (i know, my life is really hard), so pretty much none of those dates were viable.

so…july it is!, i figured. i’d be moved by then and settled in to my new place. awesome.

so i look at dates. nothing is within driving distance. okay, so i’ll fly. what’s cheap? wisconsin? sure. and then i can go to minnesota (why not?) and iowa (never been there either!), too. none of which are places i ever really expected to visit, but that’s cool! it’s all very kerouac, very on the road. pancake tour of north america, whatever.

so i book a flight and i buy tickets to the whatever county fair in wisconsin. the show in minnesota is sold out, but i’ll figure it out, right? and someone has an extra iowa ticket i can use. perfect! done! i’ll tell my boyfriend later. no big deal.

but then…a new date is announced. foxwoods! in connecticut! august 1! i could go to that. i don’t leave for europe until august 6 (pay attention, this will be important)! but…i already planned this trip to the midwest, and that’s three shows, and foxwoods is only one show! (i’d already rejected the idea of going to musikfest in pennsylvania on august 3; cutting it a little too close to my europe trip.) so it’s fine. i’ll just skip foxwoods, because i can’t come back from a four-day excursion and then immediately leave again the next weekend, especially when i’m heading off to europe only a few days later! fine. i’m cool with it.

but then, today: ANOTHER NEW DATE. the starland ballroom on july 30 in sayreville, new jersey? less than an hour from where i’ll be living? um. WHAT? my plan to travel to wisconsin/minnesota/iowa is looking less and less awesome and more and more like a waste of my time and money, when there are now TWO perfectly good shows within driving distance.

not to mention, there’s a day off in between those shows! he has nothing scheduled for july 31! CLEARLY HE WILL PLAY IN NEW YORK CITY THAT NIGHT. this is perfect! okay, i will go to these shows and cancel my midwest trip. SIGH. settled!

and then…and then…MORE DATES ARE ANNOUNCED, OH EM GEE! philadelphia is between the jersey show and the foxwoods show? okay, well, that’s…not at all convenient, actually, but whatever, i’ll go! road trip! fuck yeah!

and then…and then…OMG! NYC DATES AFTER ALL! I WILL LIVE THERE BY THEN! THE NOKIA AND CENTRAL PARK? TOTES COOL!

but wait.

what are those dates there? august 6 and 7?

now, why are those important? remember this?

“i don’t leave for europe until august 6…”

HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA.

i think the word i’m looking for here is clusterfuck.

thanks, dave, for not only ruining my life but also tainting my trip to europe.

i hate you i love you i hate you i love you anyway…you douchenozzle.

xo